Sometimes the darkness feels too great. Everything feels wrong and nothing feels light. Things you once clung to with confidence crumbled, and the sweet is now bitter to your taste.
And now your heart aches, not from one wound, but from a hundred little disappointments that surround your tired soul.
Busyness of life and stress have threatened to consume me. I've sat and cried repeatedly for the smallest of things that I wasn't strong enough for. My soul was troubled.
"You believe in God, believe also in Me."
I started reading Elisabeth Elliot's devotional "Keep a Quiet Heart" today.
In the opening chapter she talks about how Jesus slept through the storm, a storm that absolutely terrified his fisherman disciples. Elliot writes about how Jesus went through all of His life with a quiet heart because He had what Kierkegaard called purity of heart- to will one thing. Elliot says that one thing was the will of His Father.
I want to will one thing too. My Father's will.
If I am willing His will, the hundred little troubles will lose their heaviness when they are seen with My Father's eyes.
A difficult person- a chance to show God's love.
Trials at work- a chance to put others first and serve the least of these.
Busy with others- a chance to put others before myself.
Negative self image- a chance to find confidence in the One who made me.
Too often I allow the busyness I so despise to keep me from being with the One who can get me through each day, my Lord. I must find time to quiet myself before Him each day and all day that I may rest quietly with Him through the storm.
well said, Abby: ""Too often I allow the busyness I so despise to keep me from being with the One who can get me through each day, my Lord. I must find time to quiet myself before Him each day and all day that I may rest quietly with Him through the storm."
ReplyDeletemay the Lord strengthen and encourage you as you put Him first.
and i love Elisabeth :) you've inspired me to go start re-reading this book of hers.
Oh, my dear Abby, your thoughts sound so much like mine in so many ways. I know I am not 20 something anymore, and now I have 1 1/2 kids, so I am no longer in the "married without kids" category, but I would love to meet with you and pray regularly, so that we can encourage one another. I have struggled along the exact same paths you are...its really ironic how similar they sound! I am willing to be as flexible as possible with the time if you do want to meet.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you personally, but you expressed my heart very well in this post. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteEmily- Thank you for your prayers! You are the one that got me started reading Elisabeth years ago when you gave me "Through Gates of Splendor." You are such a blessing to me!
ReplyDeleteBecci- Thank you so much for your comment, it is so encouraging to know someone else has struggled like me. We should definitely get together for coffee soon!
Sarah- Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciated it. I love your blog, maybe someday we will meet either on this side of heaven or the other:-)