It's so easy to fall into a bad pattern of spending, but what am I really looking for?
Perhaps at times I feel like ignoring God for a moment. Perhaps I'm greedy. Perhaps my flesh is selfish and gluttonous. Probably, I wouldn't put any of those things past me.
Oh, how often have I bought something, telling myself, "Now, I'm set for the year. This feels great." Only to pass by another storefront and have my mind riddled once again with desire. Have I ever spent one day of my life not wanting something material?
"There is a grievous evil that I have seen under the sun: riches were kept by the owner to his hurt, and those riches were lost in a bad venture. And he is a father of a son, but he has nothing in his hand. As he came from his mother's womb he shall go again, naked as he came, and he shall take nothing for his toil that he may carry away in his hand." Ecclesiastes 4:13-15
Maybe I should think less about my own satisfaction, and think a little more about not being an owner whose riches were kept to her own hurt. What if I worried about sharing the riches God has given me (in resources, time, and prayer) for others, and stopped wondering whether I was happy?
It's so easy for me to fall into this pit. Even my desire for time at home can be a stumbling block. Anything can be a stumbling block when it keeps me from doing what God is calling me to do.
Can I escape my me-me-me attitude? Not likely, unless Christ is truly King of my heart.
"Then Jesus told His disciples, "If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? Or what shall a man give in return for his life?" Matthew 16:24-26
Is Jesus worth giving up the people I love, time, finances, and everything else I hold dear? Most definitely. Do I live everyday like that is true? Hardly.
Today, like everyday that came before it was chance to live with Jesus as King. What will it look like if Jesus is King of everything? Much better than it looks now. I think it will be beautiful, and it will be heaven. Until all is fulfilled, I'm going to keep striving to give up my rights, and work for the Kingdom while I still have a few days left on earth.