For the days I wake up with bags under my eyes, greasy hair, and a nasty film over my teeth. The alarm startles my dreams and remind me it's time to leave my husband and cozy bed to hit the shower. Tim and I get into the car and commute to school/work and I say "I don't want this day, I'm ready for tomorrow."
Tim has graciously told me on several occasions that I should just give those days to God, especially since I don't seem to want them. Maybe He can make something good out of a day that seemed like a waste before it even began.
Sometimes I take this advice well, I pray and the day is new. Sometimes I don't. I insist that all I want to do is u-turn, go home, crawl into bed, and sip chamomile tea until evening rush hour is over. Since jobs pay the bills, I go to work anyway, and wander my way through a purposeless day, tired and ill-humored inside.
I don't want to live another day like this. I want to change my perspective on life, where everyday is lived for Christ and given to Him... whether I am ready for the day or not. It's hard to remember this when circumstances are rough, be it small (I didn't get enough sleep) or big (spiritual trials at work or home).
I'm sure, as always, that the answer lies where my heart is.... focused on myself or focused on Christ. Can my whole life revolve around Him the way it has revolved around me the last 23 years? What if I breathed, spoke, dreamed and lived Jesus all day long? I know this would change the look of my everyday, and this week I'm going to pursue this reality.
How do you feel about this? If you are anything like me, this probably seems impossible. And it is. I can't do it myself, neither can you. Don't feel bad, descendants of Adam and Eve are notoriously self-centered. I think the way to live like Jesus is to give every part of your life to Him. Let Him work in you.
So, it is easy for me to write this on Sunday, a day that I slept in, went to church, and have a free evening. It is difficult to live this tomorrow, an early Monday back at work, staring down another week. Everyday this week my goal is to verbally give the day to Jesus in the morning, whether or not I am ready for the day... and see where He takes it.
I think, regardless of alarm clocks, long hours, greasy hair, and traffic this is going to be a good week. Why? Because it doesn't belong to me anymore.
"Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise."
I love You Jesus.