Tuesday, June 22, 2010

an act of love

On the way to work the last few days I have been listening to worship music. Work has been difficult of late, and it has been one of several efforts to get my mind at peace before entering the glass doors of the center.

I have also been reading the Psalms, each one a perfect piece of worship.

It seems so easy sometimes. Worship. When other people do it.

I have never been much of a hand raiser or dancer. Only on a very rare occasion. And I worry at times that a worshipful awe is not often the attitude of my heart.

I don't think worship can be practiced without an understanding of love. And I have hope, for I'm beginning to know love.

It is so easy to worship an idol, especially one that you love dearly, and one that loves you in return. My husband has been my most beloved idol, and it is easy to "worship" his existence and cling on his every word. I know that he loves me, and I love him. It isn't hard to think about him, dream about him, talk about him, and spend all my time with him.

Tim doesn't have to love me. But he loves me unconditionally. It really blows my mind sometimes that he loves me after discovering my crazy side, my weird side, and my dark side. I mean, it's easy to like someone on a date, but after you know everything... it's a little more difficult.

And God knows all of those things.... and more. And He loves and He loves. To the point of death.

The depth of that love is unfathomable, I cannot reach the bottom. Maybe, just maybe, going deeper into that love will bring me to a place of true worship? Maybe understanding His love for me will bring me to my knees in love, honor, joy, and gratitude?

It also helps me to think about how wonderful God is. When I think about my husband Tim, I love to think about the things that make him wonderful. His love, his faithfulness, his kindness, his sense of humor, his graciousness, his wisdom.... and on and on.

Making a list about Tim makes me think of all those words we toss around in worship songs for our Bridegroom in heaven.... gracious, loving, holy, mighty, faithful, just, beautiful, and the list goes on forever. Reflecting on the wonderful things about the Lover of my soul helps me love Him in return.

"How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure.
That He should give His only Son,
To make a wretch His treasure."
-Stuart Townend

Little by little, God is helping me understand His love.... and that is bringing me back to worship. Knowing His love for me, and reflecting on His attributes brings my heart to its knees in wonder.... a place that I wish it was at more often than I can admit to.

What is keeping you from worship? Busyness? Other idols? Doubt? Apathy? I've been there, and I'm still there, too often. Start seeking personal worship time. It's too easy to think Sunday morning worship will be good enough. It can't be. Worship is for everyday. It's a heart issue. It's an act of love.

Seek the Lord with me, He's waiting for us.

No comments:

Post a Comment