Friday morning last week I hit the snooze button. Then I hit it again. And then maybe once more. I woke up a little flustered and hurried through my quiet time with God. Checked my email. Showered. Dressed. Facial routine. Blow-dried my hair. Ate breakfast. And so on.
As I turned over the morning in my mind on the way to work, I got to thinking. "How come the only thing that gets shortened or cut out of my routine in the morning when I oversleep is God?"
That made me uneasy. How does blow-drying my hair somehow have greater importance than the One who knows how many hairs are on my head?
Where I cut corners shows where my heart lies.
I'm ashamed to say, my desire on Friday morning was to look presentable and not stink like a greasy animal. I'm not saying that isn't a worthy goal that we all should strive for in the morning, but maybe there is something more, much more.
What if Jesus (our time with Him and just Him Himself) really was more important than anything? I want that so badly and yet I have to keep working at it and remind myself to work at it.
When I was in high school my parents sent my brother and I on wilderness backpacking trips with a camp in the North Woods. Their goal was to toughen us up, I think. For nine days we didn't have deodorant, soap, or toilet paper. We didn't have phones or watches, and the counselors only let us see enough map to get where we were going each day.
On the last evening of the trip, my group camped close to the main camp. We were next to this old, abandoned looking cabin-shack. It had a dirty glass window and as I passed by it with my handful of sticks for the fire I saw my reflection. And for the first time in my life (since I was an infant I guess), I didn't recognize myself. I hadn't seen myself for days and the faces that I really knew well were the faces of my counselors and the other girls in my group.
I think about that whenever I think deeply about the face of Jesus and what it would be like if I truly lost myself in Him. Wouldn't it be amazing if we were in the Word and prayer so much all we could think of was the face of Jesus? What if we forgot ourselves in our love for Him?
Love is like that. When you fall in love with someone you lose your mind. You stay up later than you should just to spend more time with them or one more minute on the phone. You spend all your extra money buying them presents or saving up for cool dates. You think about them every minute of the day... writing their name everywhere and counting down the minutes until you get to be with them again.
And it's awesome. You wouldn't change it. You are in love.
What if Jesus really consumed us, what if we fell in love with Him?
"May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ." 2 Thessalonians 3:5
God is love. Deep, strong, passionate, jealous, tender, holy, perfect, forgiving, unending love. Are we willing to say yes to it? Are we willing to lose ourselves in His love?
Can we commit to this love even when it is difficult? When it calls for an early morning, a stressful day, or a lifetime of sacrifice?
I guess you could ask the same question to a young couple as they say their wedding vows. Do you think this is worth it? Do you think it's worth the imperfections, trials, and heartaches? And as they look their loved one in the eye, they say "I do."
I'm saying yes to Jesus and I'm choosing to say yes everyday to His love.