idols part two

You may have read my previous post about idols. And you may not have had the time. If you didn't, the post was about how I put things before God, and how afraid I am of losing them.

Somehow I feel like my love for the good thing will be diminished if I love God more, I will lose them, I will enjoy them less.

My husband has been the hardest idol to let go of. For the last three years he has been the most important thing in the world to me as we met, dated, fell in love, and got married. How can the love of my life become less that God may be more?

I had a revelation the other day that has made me change my mind.

I was with Tim and I realized keeping him in the high place of idolatry is not about loving him, as strange as that might seem. It's about loving me. Idolizing him is making him something he is not, a god. It puts pressure on him to perform. It creates a false sense of security when I am with him, and a sense of despair when he is absent.

It is about my comfort, my happiness. Giving Tim to God is the greatest thing I can do for him, but my hands grip tightly, and the fingers are being peeled back one by one.

I have to stop loving my happiness more than God. And I must give Him my most beloved idol.

My heart goes out the Israelites and their struggle with idolatry. No longer will I look down upon you my sisters, my brothers. I too, must give my heart to God.

Last time I wrote about idols I was desperate, struggling to see that the change would be worthwhile, and the best for both me and my beloved husband. Today I am seeing that slowly, but surely it is making all the difference. May God be first now and forevermore. Amen.

in the presence of idols

I thought that I had beat the issue of idols when I entered adolescence. I wrote on my old blog about the presence of idols in my childhood. Most infamously my teddy bear Snowball. I couldn't bear the thought of letting go of my favorite toys. They were too important to me. I didn't want to sacrifice them to God. Please Lord, something else.

Well, age took care of that problem. I grew out of my need for stuffed companions. But I have found out recently, idols still exist in my life. Israel, the Baals have been unmasked.

Timothy Keller recently wrote a book about idols called "Counterfeit Gods." Tim was reading it and he suggested I read a chapter of it. And it was very convicting, and comforting.

Keller talked about how an idol is something that we put before God. And it is hard to know we have put it before God, especially when they are good things.... things like family, job, friends... etc. It seems I make idols out of good things too.... my husband, time, happiness, art, an idealized future. Many times there isn't something inherently wrong with your idol, its just.... too important.

It feels like giving up the idol will render me helpless. If I give it to God, will it no longer bring me happiness? Will it disappear altogether? I hold on tightly to them, sitting upon them like Rachel in hopes that the Father will pass them by unnoticed. Please Lord, something else.

I have to sacrifice even this. The things that I feel bring me meaning, must be given to Him. He is meaning... His story will be better than the one I write. I have to cast my idols at the feet of my Father and get back on the altar.

Lord, give me faith that Your way is the way of joy. Take these idols. My life is Yours.